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BIRD LAW

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Specialist in All Forms of Avian Litigation

Certified by Charlie Kelly, Esq.

"I'm not saying I agree with it. It's just that bird law in this country—it's not governed by reason."

- Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly's Greatest Legal Moments

Legal Framework

A comprehensive syntax for prosecuting, defending, and settling all avian-related legal matters.

Case Analysis

Real-time validation and analysis by Charlie Kelly himself. Get instant feedback on your Bird Law cases.

Worm Currency

All fines and settlements are paid in the official Bird Law currency: worms. Fair and legally binding.

Bird Law Syntax Guide

Charlie Kelly's Official Legal Framework for Avian Litigation

ACCUSE [bird] OF [crime]File formal charges against a bird

DEFEND [bird] BECAUSE [reason]Provide legal defense

SUMMON [bird] TO COURTIssue a court summons

FINE [bird] [amount] WORMSImpose financial penalty

DECLARE [bird] [status]Make official declaration

SETTLE WITH [bird] FOR [terms]Reach settlement agreement

Click to load examples:

Hummingbird Harassment

ACCUSE hummingbird OF harassment...

Seagull Theft

ACCUSE seagull OF stealing french fries...

Crow Surveillance

ACCUSE crow OF illegal surveillance...

Pigeon Loitering

ACCUSE pigeon OF loitering...

Bird Law Case Editor

Enter your Bird Law case below and execute to see Charlie Kelly's expert analysis

Bird Law Language Examples

Example 1: Simple Accusation

ACCUSE seagull OF stealing beach snacks
SUMMON seagull TO COURT

A straightforward case of seagull theft with immediate court summons.

Example 2: Defense Case

ACCUSE hummingbird OF aggressive behavior
DEFEND hummingbird BECAUSE territorial instincts are natural
DECLARE hummingbird INNOCENT

A complete case with accusation, defense, and declaration.

Example 3: Settlement Agreement

ACCUSE crow OF property damage
FINE crow 300 WORMS
SETTLE WITH crow FOR community service at local park

Mixed penalty approach: monetary fine plus settlement terms.

Example 4: Complex Case

ACCUSE pigeon OF loitering in commercial district
SUMMON pigeon TO COURT
DEFEND pigeon BECAUSE seeking shelter is not a crime
FINE pigeon 50 WORMS
SETTLE WITH pigeon FOR relocation to designated pigeon zone

A comprehensive case demonstrating the full range of Bird Law procedures.